An "S" on my Chest

I cannot believe it has been almost a month since my last post; so much has been going on that it's been hard to find the time to sit and reflect. But I guess that can be viewed as a good thing, right? (That's your queue to agree with me).

Okay, so in my last post I announced that I started a new job, but little did I know that I was now entering into an entirely new phase of my life! Going from dealing with whiny billionaires and their account problems to becoming an advocate for childrens health and well being has been a total 180 degree experience. I'm now going to be making decisions that will forever impact the lives of kids; up to and including the possibility of removing them from their homes and placing them into a system that could potentially harm them even further. So many things have surfaced since I've been in training, even demons from my own childhood that I thought I dealt with have found their way to the surface, causing me to question whether or not I will be able to handle what I will most certainly encounter out in the field. Am I really ready for this? Will I be able to make sound judgments for the sake of these innocent lives, without being biased or jaded? Why God has deemed me worthy is beyond me, but I'm in it now, and there is no way I'm turning back. *deep breath*

I think the moral of this post is accountability and learning how to recognize and understand the things that I can control and removing my hands from the things that I can't, and not allowing myself to feel guilty for the latter of the two. This new job requires me to create plans for children and their families to hopefully put them on the right track to becoming a unit again, but really, it's going to be up to them to follow that plan. Everyone wants to be a superhero, flying in and swooping down to the rescue. But the truth of the matter is there are limits to what we can do; not to mention whether or not those that we are attempting to help really want us to in the first place. So those of us with these enormously huge hearts often times find ourselves bound and tethered to our own good intentions. But what if we took all of the time and energy wasted on life suckers, or dead end jobs, or emotional vampires, or on frivolous BS that makes absolutely no sense, and poured it into our health, our marriages or relationships, or our children; wouldn't we be able to live the lives that we should be living? But rather than use that super power that we ALL posses that could profoundly impact the things in our lives that we can control, we're steady killing ourselves trying to walk through fire walls, read minds and hold the wind in our hands. Really?

Isn't it amazing how just when we think we have it all figured out, another twist or turn comes along that throws you into tilt mode? I had my mind and heart set on cruise control, with map in hand and blinders in place. But what I didn't take into account was that while on this journey I was going to be faced with many MANY different routes that could potentially lead me to an even greater destination. I love kids, and now here it is that I have the chance to do the utmost for them. Its like now, I'm seeing the framework to my home being laid out and taking shape. That "framework" is my purpose. T-278